Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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