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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.  ~Bill Cosby



Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.  ~Sam Ewing



Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis




Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.  ~Jennifer Yane




He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland



Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.  ~Charles Schulz




Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown



Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost
Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again.  ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968