Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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