We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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