Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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