I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
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