Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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